Grateful

***

Wednesday, December 19, 2007
11:30 a.m.

Brian plastered on a fake smile as he personally led Margaret Howell through Kinnetik and held open the door as she and her assistant exited.

Margaret pulled her tastelessly expensive parka around her and said, “Have your assistant call mine with your arrival time, I’ll send a car for you at the airport.”

Brian wanted to tell the woman he would provide his own transportation, but thought better of it. The woman who had taken over Howell Jewelers was finicky and short-tempered. He read people well, but, as today’s meeting had shown him, he had no idea what would set the woman off, so he nodded in agreement. In as nice a tone as possible he said, “I’ll see you in L.A. on Friday.”

“Friday,” she agreed with a roll of her eyes, “and I hope you do not intend to waste any more of my time.” She turned away and began to walk to where her limo waited.

Brian stormed back inside Kinnetik, and as he passed his employees, he began to bark orders. “Jacob, get Justin on the phone, now! Cynthia, get those fucking boards off the conference room table and give them back to Doug with the changes. Ted, get me everything you can find about Margaret Howell’s likes and dislikes and get it to me immediately!” By the time he got in his office, he saw the light on his phone blinking with a waiting call.

He took a few sips of water and a dozen deep breaths before picking up the phone. It was one thing to bitch at his employees and take his anger out on them, but it would do him no good to take his frustration out on Justin, especially because he had to change their plans. He picked up the receiver and pressed on the line button, “Justin?”

“Brian, you know I fucking hate when you have your assistant call me. I’m not some business associate of yours, I’m your partner,” Justin bitched.

Brian slumped in his chair and silently refused to respond to that ridiculousness because though Justin bitched each time, he just didn’t understand why the fuck it mattered. “I’ve got to fly to L.A. on Friday morning.”

“Friday? “ Justin asked, the raised tone of his voice telling Brian that it was pointless to repeat himself.

“The meeting with Howell Jewelers bombed. She wants changes to the ads, and they’re set to go to print on Friday afternoon. She came to Pittsburgh for the meeting, instead of me going out there, because she had other business here. Before you suggest someone else, she pointedly told me that I am to deliver the boards personally to her on Monday in L.A. so I won’t be in New York until late Friday night or Saturday morning, whatever flight Jacob can get me on.”

“But the girls and kids are going to be here in an hour,” Justin said. “Gus thinks we’re taking him ice skating tomorrow night.”

“Well, you’ll have to take him ice skating without me and we’ll go again, okay?”

“Well, it’s not really okay, but…”

“Justin, you knew that I’d be gone on business a lot once I moved to New York.”

“But you’ve already been gone for a week, and now you’ll be gone even longer.”

“I’ll be back in time to do all the other Holiday festivities you and the gang have organized.”

“Can’t you just fly here tonight like planned and then fly out of New York Friday morning?”

“I’m going to have the staff working overtime. We’ll be lucky if we get every change Margaret Howell wants with the campaign finished by tomorrow night.”

“Fuck, this sucks!”

“Or doesn’t,” Brian groaned, adjusting his neglected cock. The moment he heard Justin’s voice, even though the man was bitching at him, it made him hard.

“Call me if you get a chance, and make sure you eat and sleep.”

“I will. Later.”

“Later.”
 

***

6:00 p.m.

“Justin, are you all right?” Lindsay asked.

Justin plastered on a fake smile as he plugged in the set of lights on the Christmas tree. “I’m fine.”

Lindsay persisted, “You just seem so down.”

“I’m not down,” Justin told her, “it’s Christmas time. How could I be down at Christmas time?”

Lindsay gave Justin a knowing look. “You were so excited to celebrate Christmas with Brian.”

“And we will,” Justin said.

“But your plans for…”

“Do you really think that I thought Brian would decorate the Christmas tree with us?” Justin asked.

“Well, you told Gus…”

Justin interrupted, “I told Gus that we’d decorate our tree. I never told him Brian would be here to do it too.”

“But you thought he would be,” Lindsay spoke sadly. “You’re not the only one.”

Justin looked behind him at Gus who sat on the sofa watching cartoons. “I know.” Gus had refused to help with any of the Christmas tree decorating when he found out that Brian wasn’t going to be there. That was two hours ago and since then he’d been pouting and refused to talk to Justin. “Well, I’m not a seven-year-old. I understand why Brian can’t be here.” He stepped back and looked at the tree. “When Brian gets here, he can help Gus put on the ornaments, I’ve done the hard part.”

“Why don’t you ask him to bake cookies with you?” Lindsay suggested. “He loved doing that with you last year when you and Brian came to Toronto.”

“I’ll have to go to the store to get the ingredients first,” Justin told her, hoping this would get Gus out of his funk.

“I wanna go!” Jenny Rebecca yelled, running toward Justin when she saw him putting on his winter coat.

“I’m just going to the store, Jenny,” Justin told her. “Nowhere fun.”

“Pweeease?” Jenny asked, batting her long brown eyelashes.

Melanie laughed and picked up her daughter. “She loves grocery shopping.”

“Jussy, pwease?” Jenny asked again.

Justin sighed, “Well, I guess you can come.”
 

***

Thursday, December 20, 2007
12:30 a.m.

Justin jerked awake to the sound of his cell phone ringing. He blindly reached toward the nightstand and answered it. “Hello?”

“Shit, were you sleeping?”

“Yeah.” Justin reached over and turned on the lamp. “Why are you calling?”

“You said to call if I got a chance.”

“Where are you?”

“The loft,” Brian said, “where are you?”

“I was sleeping, and we have guests here. Where do you think I am?” Justin asked.

“Lindsay texted me earlier, but I just got it now. She said Gus is upset I’m not there and so are you.”

“She thinks I’m upset. I’m disappointed you’re not here but I know you can’t be. What you said earlier was true. When you moved to New York, I knew that you’d be gone for business trips a lot. Hell, I’m gone almost as much as you are. I have no right to be upset.”

“But you are.”

“Not with you. Just with that Howell lady. I’m picturing her as the Grinch, you know.”

“Well, she’s not going to steal Christmas, don’t worry. So, how upset is Gus? Has he gotten over it?”

“No.” Justin knew that what he was going to say would hurt Brian but he’d find out from Lindsay tomorrow so there was no point in hiding it. “I think he’s becoming a teenager early.”

“Slamming doors and listening to loud music?”

“And refusing to talk to any of us, participate in decorating the Christmas tree or baking cookies. When I told him why you couldn’t come, he said it was my fault, so he’s not mad at you.”

“Why the fuck does he think it’s your fault?” Brian asked.

“Because I told him the same reason you told me. That because you moved to New York, you had to go on business trips a lot more than when you lived in Pittsburgh and managed Kinnetik from there. He said that if I hadn’t made you move to New York with me, you would’ve visited him in Toronto and helped him decorate his tree there.”

“You didn’t make me move, I wanted to. I hope you told him.”

“I did.”

“And what did you say to the other shit?”

“Nothing,” Justin replied. “I didn’t know what to say. Even if you wanted to come, he sees it as the truth and you yourself told me it was.”

“No, it isn’t. If I were living in Pittsburgh, I still would have to go to L.A. tomorrow. I’ll call him tomorrow before I get on the plane, explain that to him and promise to decorate the tree with him as soon as I get to New York. That is, if you’ve left some ornaments for me?”

“I only put the lights on the tree,” Justin said, yawning. “Anyway, that wasn’t the worse part of the day.”

“Let me guess. Mikey Junior has been nipping at your heels since the moment they arrived?”

“Oh, it was much worse than her normal possessiveness with me. I made the mistake of agreeing to take her to the grocery store with me when I went to get the ingredients for the cookies.”

Brian laughed. “Why oh why did you think it’d be a good idea to take her with you?”

“I have no idea,” Justin moaned. “She never stopped saying, ‘I want that’ and I ended up buying every damn thing she had her eye on just to keep her quiet. Then, when we got back here, Gus didn’t want to make cookies but of course, Jenny did. She snuck a huge handful of cookie dough and refused to spit it out. Before I could get one batch in the oven, she puked all over me.”

“No!”

“Oh yeah, and while I was showering off the puke, she comes bursting into the bathroom, soaking wet, demanding to take a bath with me.”

“You didn’t lock the fucking door?” Brian asked, unable to keep from laughing.

“I was too preoccupied with getting cleaned up and I thought Melanie had her in the guest bath! Apparently, she’d slipped past them as they were about to dry her off.”

“So what did you do?”

Justin huffed. “Covered my dick with one hand, held the door to the shower shut with the other and screamed until the girls came and got her. What else could I do?”

Brian snickered. “I wish I had been there to see that.”

“Just wait until Michael’s genes really start sprouting in Jenny. She’ll be following you around, mooning over you and insisting she’s your very best friend and there will be nothing you can do about it. As annoying as she is, she’s too cute to be mean to.”

“As great as it was to hear that story,” Brian said, “let’s go back to the part about you holding your dick.”

“I wasn’t holding my cock! I was covering it.”

“All right then, hold your cock now,” Brian told him.

Justin snuggled into the mattress and pulled his soft cock out of his pants. “I’m really tired, I don’t know if I’m up for it.”

“You’ll be up for it, or are you doubting my skills?” Brian purred.

Justin felt his dick twitch and sighed, “Oh no. No doubting here.”
 

***

Friday, December 21, 2007
9:40 p.m.

“Find a fucking private jet then!” Brian yelled, gripping his cell phone. “I don’t care how much it fucking costs. If you value your job, Jacob, you’ll get me the fuck out of here!”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Kinney, but the woman I spoke to at the airline said that seventy percent of the airports in the U.S. are shut down because of the blizzard and that includes any that are remotely close to you. The weather forecast gets worse every time I check it and they think it’ll be at least twenty-four hours before they’re flying again, and that’s stretching it.”

Brian growled, “Then find me a ground option. The fucking trains are running, right?”

“Uh…yes, I believe they are,” Jacob replied nervously. “I’ll call you back in just a moment.”

Brian closed his cell and resisted the urge to start screaming like a mad man, that wouldn’t go too well in a crowded airport where the tension of stranded passengers was already high. He flipped open his cell phone and dialed Justin’s number.

“Hey,” Justin answered cheerfully, “are you about to land?”

“No,” Brian sighed, “I’ve already landed.”

“Oh? It got in early? I was sure that with the storm it’d…”

“We were grounded,” Brian interrupted.

“Grounded?” Justin asked worriedly. “Where?”

“In fucking Kansas City?”

“I’ll refrain from making any Friend of Dorothy references,” Justin joked.

“I’m not actually in Kansas. I’m in Missouri.”

“But you’re in Kansas City?” Justin asked.

“I’m going to bypass the geography lesson and get to the point of this call. I’m not getting back on a plane. Seventy percent of the airports in the U.S. have closed because of the fucking blizzard. They’re not hopeful about them opening up anytime in the next twenty-four hours.”

“Are you serious?” Justin asked.

“Do you think I’d joke about being stuck in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere?”

“So…you’re just going to ride it out in a hotel for a day?” Justin asked.

“No, Jacob is looking to get me booked on a train.”

“All right, I’ll let everyone know.”

“So, I guess that means everyone else was able to get there before the storms?” Brian asked jealously.

“Yes,” Justin answered sadly. “I wish you’d…”

*beep beep*

“Jacob’s calling, I’ll call you back.”

“K, later.

Brian switched lines. “Tell me you got me a seat.”

“I did better than that,” Jacob told him. “You have a sleeper car room to yourself, all the way from Kansas City to New York.”

“What time does it leave?”

“You’ll depart at 7:43 a.m. and…”

“Just what the fuck am I supposed to do until then?” Brian asked.

“I thought ahead. I have you booked into the Comfort Suites right across from the train station. You didn’t check any luggage, right?”

“No.” Brian gritted his teeth as he realized he had no luggage to speak of except for his briefcase which only contained the Howell contract and a toothbrush.

“Well that’s good; you won’t have to wait for it. I’ll call a taxi and have it pick you up from the airport and take you to the hotel.”

“What time does the train get into New York tomorrow?”

“Uhm… it actually doesn’t get into New York tomorrow.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’ll be Monday, 1:45 a.m. that you arrive in New York.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Brian growled.

“It’s the best I could do,” Jacob said carefully. “I’ll email your full itinerary to your phone, okay?”

“Thank you,” Brian said sarcastically, walking toward the airport’s exit. “How long before the taxi is here?”

“Just a few minutes.”

“All right.” Brian decided to wait until he got to the hotel before he called Justin. If he was in a hotel room, they could at the very least, have phone sex.
 

***

Brian rang Jacob’s cell phone for the third time, and as the machine picked up he screeched, “This is your BOSS. Call me back the moment you get this. I just received your email about the itinerary!”

He paced the small room and muttered obscenities until he remembered why Jacob wasn’t answering his phone. Jacob was in the middle of driving to Philadelphia to spend Christmas with his kids when Brian first called him about the plane detouring to Kansas City. It amazed him that his assistant had arranged the transportation all the while driving through a blizzard. He probably wasn’t getting service or had arrived at his destination and thought he had his boss squared away.

Brian opened the cell phone and dialed Justin’s number.

“Hey,” Justin greeted sleepily. “Were you able to get on a train?”

“I’ll leave tomorrow at 7:43 a.m. I get into Chicago at 3:15 and then depart for D.C. at 5:45 p.m., arrive at D.C. at 6:05 p.m., depart at 10:00 p.m. for New York and arrive there at 1:45 a.m. on the 24th.”

“Oh, God!” Justin gasped. “Don’t you think that you should try to rent a car? That might be a lot faster.”

“It took the taxi driver forty-five minutes to drive four miles, and Kansas City isn’t in the eye of the blizzard. I’d have to drive ten miles an hour most of the way.”

“Well it isn’t even snowing here,” Justin said. “Or in D.C. Maybe once you get there you can see if you can take a charter to New York, it’ll get you there faster.”

“I’ll check on that when I get there,” Brian said. “It’d save me waiting four fucking hours for the train to depart.”

“Shit! You did get the bitch to sign the contract with Kinnetik at least, right?”

“Of course.” Brian disrobed completely and got into bed. “So, you up for some phone sex?”

Justin yawned. “I can’t. With the absence of one Kinney in my bed I’ve got another.”

Brian sighed. “So I take it my phone call to him earlier made a difference?”

“Yes, and he even held my hand when we went ice skating. But I think the only reason he gave me a reprieve is because he thinks you’re going to be home tonight. I’m not looking forward to him waking up tomorrow morning to see you aren’t here.”

Brian grumbled. “Just have him call me, first thing. He shouldn’t be taking this out on you.”

Justin yawned out, “I miss you.”

“You too.”

“I hate that you have to go through all this to get here.”

“I promised Gus and you that I’d be there for Christmas, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, and you don’t break your promises,” Justin whispered.

“Well, I did promise I’d take him skating and shopping so I’ve broken those.”

“He knows it isn’t your fault. I’ll make sure he has an extra special time here while we wait for you to come home. That is, if he lets me. Call me tomorrow if Gus doesn’t call you, okay?”

“Will do. Get some sleep.”

“You too. Love you.”

“You too. Later.” Brian closed his cell, turned off the light and slipped into a deep sleep.
 

***

Saturday, December 22, 2007
11:20 a.m.

“What do you mean you don’t want to go?” Lindsay asked. “You’ve been wanting to go to FAO Schwartz since we got here, Gus.”

“I don’t want to!” Gus insisted, glaring at his mothers and Justin.

“Well you can’t just stay here,” Melanie told him. “We’re all going. Now go put your coat and shoes on.”

“You can’t make me go!” Gus yelled.

“No one likes that your father isn’t here, Gus,” Lindsay told him. “Santa wouldn’t be very happy with the way you’re acting.”

“Like I care,” Gus huffed.

“This isn’t up for discussion. You can’t just stay here alone,” Melanie said, frustrated. “Let’s go. Michael and Ben are already there waiting for us.”

“Then take Jenny to go have fun with her dads!”

Lindsay said in a soothing voice, “You’ll have one of your dads there and…”

“Justin isn’t my dad!” Gus yelled and stormed off down the hall. A moment later, the sound of his bedroom door slamming, reverberated through the apartment.

Justin turned away from his friends and closed his eyes, telling himself that Gus didn’t really mean what he’d said, that he was upset and that’s all it was, he knew that. He knew Gus didn’t mean it, but it still hurt like hell. Just last Christmas, Gus had called him Daddy for the first time and that one word had trumped any other ever spoken to him.

Melanie placed her hand on his shoulder and softly said, “He doesn’t mean that.”

“I know,” Justin said, his voice cracking.

Jenny wrapped her arms around Justin’s legs and rubbed her face against his thigh. “I love you, Jussy.”

Justin bent down and picked the little girl up, snuggling her in his arms. “You too, Jenny.” He handed her off to Melanie. “I’ll stay here with Gus.”

“No!” Jenny protested.

“Really Justin, this isn’t right, the way he’s treating you,” Lindsay said. “We shouldn’t reward him by giving in.”

“I know, but we’re talking about forcing him to go to a toy store, that’s…it’s just not right. Maybe he just needs to cool down and after the phone call from Brian I didn’t get much sleep. I’m not really up to going anyway.”

“Are you sure?” Melanie asked.

“Yeah,” Justin said firmly. “I’m sure. Maybe if we’re alone, he’ll talk to me and we can come to a truce.”

“If he doesn’t,” Lindsay said, “I’ll have a long talk with him when we get back.”

“I’m afraid that might make it worse,” Justin said carefully. “Look at it from his point of view. For months, he’s been counting down the days on his calendar of when he’s going to see his father. This visit wasn’t just any visit. He’s a child with Christmas dreams and today he’s realized that none of the things he planned to do with Brian are going to happen.”

“Jussy can make Gus happy,” Jenny told Melanie.

“Maybe,” Justin told the little girl, grateful she was optimistic about it when no one else seemed to be.
 

***

Chicago 5:30 p.m.

“Hey, where are you?” Justin asked.

“Just boarded the connection in Chicago, we should be pulling out in fifteen minutes. What are you doing?”

“I just got out of the shower. I’m taking Emmett and Drew to Polar.”

“So the marrieds are staying in?” Brian joked.

“Michael and Ben are watching Jenny Rebecca to give Mel and Linds some time alone.”

“Well, if I didn’t already feel disgusting from travelling in public transit, that would’ve done it. So what about Gus?”

“He hasn’t come out of his room since you called earlier.”

“He was supposed to apologize to you,” Brian said.

“It’s okay,” Justin said, “I don’t want anyone forcing him to do that. He’s hurt and upset and he needs space from me. I was thinking about it and I don’t think he’s mad at me. I think that being around me might just make him miss you even more. Honestly, I can relate.”

“Yeah, but he can’t just treat you like shit and get away with it.”

“He’s a kid, Brian,” Justin said softly, “a hurt kid. I don’t think he’s getting away with anything when he’s so miserable. I think everything will be okay once you get here.”

“So where is Gus going to be when you’re out with Drew and Em?”

“Ted and Blake are taking him to see some Christmas movie at the theater and then they’re coming back here to watch him for the night. They all think I’m dying without you here and are insisting I go out and relieve my stress.”

“So Ted and Blake are staying in the guest room?” Brian asked. “Where are Lindsay and Melanie staying for the night?”

“They traded when they first got here. I told you we should’ve taken the smaller room downstairs and had the guests upstairs. The walls between the guest and the master are thin.”

“What does that matter? It’s not like I’m there to fuck you.”

“Lindsay told me that while they were here in the summer they had to sleep with the TV turned up loud and even that wasn’t enough. Apparently Mel and Ted planned this before.”

Brian snickered. “Funny, I didn’t hear their television. I would’ve gotten them a hotel room if they asked me to that night.”

“I think you were probably preoccupied with fucking me and they didn’t want to disturb us, which is also probably why you didn’t hear their TV,” Justin said.

“Probably so. So Ted and Blake have no problem listening to us fuck?” Brian asked.

“They’re staying longer than Lindsay and Melanie. They’re going back to Toronto the day after Christmas and Blake and Ted want to stay until New Year’s.”

“With us?” Brian asked. “I thought they were going to see Blake’s parents in Florida or some shit?”

“They were going to, but Blake said he’d rather have a stress-free vacation here, and so Ted asked if we’d mind. I told him it’d be all right. It is okay, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess staying with us and listening to us fuck beats paying out of the ass for a hotel.”

“It’s not like we haven’t fucked at the baths with Ted across the room.”

“True. However, I suppose we’ll have to look into doing something to soundproof the wall. There is no way I’m giving up the master bath and closet just because Lindsay and Melanie don’t want to listen to us fuck when they come to visit.”

“You know, I’m all alone right now,” Justin said huskily, “and I just so happen to be still naked from my shower.”

Brian groaned. “Unfortunately, the rooms don’t lock and the conductor will be coming in here to punch my ticket at any time.”

“Fuck,” Justin whined, “have I mentioned I hate that you’re not here and I miss you?”

“Once or twice,” Brian said. “If I wasn’t worried I’d get kicked off this train, be arrested and possibly not make it home in time for Christmas, I’d totally phone fuck you right now.”

“Uhhh, you know, there’s no reason why you can’t at least talk dirty to me.”

“Call me tonight when you get home from the bar if you’re up to it. I’ll squeeze myself into the tiny bathroom and we can jerk off together then.”

“Okay,” Justin sighed sadly.
 

***

Sunday, December 23, 2007
1:00 p.m.

“Why didn’t you want to go?”

“Shit!” Justin dropped his paintbrush to the floor, startled by Gus suddenly appearing beside his canvas.

Gus giggled, “Sorry.”

Justin grabbed the paintbrush and shrugged. “No big deal.” He threw a paper towel over the splotch of orange paint on the floor. “What’d you ask me?” he said, reaching to turn down his radio.

“Why didn’t you want to go with everyone to lunch? Isn’t Nickel your favorite restaurant?”

Justin wasn’t surprised Gus knew that, the kid was observant and had a wonderful memory. “Yeah, it is. Ted’s bringing us back stuff to eat, but I can make you something now if you want.”

“No, that’s okay,” Gus said, shrugging. “So why didn’t you go?”

“Because I wanted to paint,” Justin told him.

“But you’ve been in here for an hour and you haven’t painted anything.”

“Sometimes I can’t paint, sometimes I just…”

“I’m sorry,” Gus blurted out, his eyes wide and glassy. “I’m sorry I’ve been mean to you.” He hesitantly stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Justin. “I didn’t mean what I said.”

Justin swallowed thickly and wrapped his arms around Gus. “I know you didn’t, but it still hurt my feelings.”

Gus looked up at Justin, his eyes filled with tears. “You didn’t want to go to Nickel without Dad ‘cause it’s where you asked him to marry you, isn’t it?”

“You’re very smart,” Justin whispered. “Yes, that’s why I didn’t want to go. I miss your Dad a whole lot.”

“Me too.”

“And you don’t want to do the other things without him because you miss him so much, right?” Justin asked softly.

Gus nodded and buried his head against Justin’s chest and began to sob. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Gus. We’ll do all that stuff with Brian when he gets here. You’re staying until after New Year’s and your Dad took those days off work so you’ll get to see him lots.”

Gus looked up at Justin and whimpered, “But it’s not enough. Why can’t I be here with you guys all the time? If I lived here it’d be okay if Dad went on trips.”

Justin led Gus over to the sofa, giving him a moment to think about his answer. He never expected this question to come; Gus seemed so happy with his mothers and sister. He’d never talked about wanting to live with him and Brian before. Sure, he wanted to visit more and more each time they saw one another, but he’d never said he wanted to live with them. He wiped Gus’ tears with his fingers and asked, “Have you talked to your mothers about this?”

“They said you didn’t want me here,” Gus said.

“Is that exactly what they said?” Justin asked.

“Mama said that you and Dad don’t want kids and it wouldn’t work.”

“Well, just because Brian and I don’t want to have children together doesn’t mean we don’t want you.”

Gus brightened. “So you do want me to live here with you?”

Justin sighed. “Gus, your father and I would love if you wanted to live here, but I don’t think you really understand what that’d be like.”

Gus pouted and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yes I do.”

Justin shook his head. “You know how much you miss your dad and me when we’re not all together? You’d miss your moms just as much, if not more, because they’re the ones who have been raising you your entire life. Remember how you were homesick when you came to visit on summer vacation?”

“Yeah,” Gus answered, “my tummy hurt.”

“Well, you’d feel like that all the time if you lived here. Plus, your moms can’t afford to visit you as much as me and Brian can afford to visit you, and even though me and your dad would help them, their jobs are a lot less flexible than ours. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but usually me and Brian can make our own schedules to make sure we have time to spend with you.”

“Then why can’t I visit more? Mom said Dad’s too busy, but you’re not, are you?”

“Well, we’d have to talk it over, but I don’t see why you couldn’t visit us more often. Though, just because I work at home, doesn’t mean I’m not busy.”

Gus smiled and wiped the last of his tears away. “My friend, Carrie, visits her Dad every other weekend. She takes a plane all by herself to Calgary and that’s further than here.”

“How do you know that?” Justin asked.

“Duh, the internet,” Gus said proudly. “Can’t I do that?”

“I’ll talk to your Dad about it and see, okay? If he thinks it’s something we could do, we’ll talk to your Moms.”

“Promise?” Gus asked, hurtling himself toward Justin and wrapping his arms around him.

“I promise,” Justin said. “Whatever happens, we’ll work out a way for you to spend more time with us, if that’s what you want.”

“I do,” Gus said.

“But you know, sometimes it might just be you and me ‘cause clients that are very important to Kinnetik need Brian to do things for them without any warning, and even though he wishes he could, sometimes he just can’t say no to them. It would hurt his business a lot if he did. So what happened this time might happen again. Do you think you could handle that?”

“I could,” Gus said softly. “Sometimes I like it when it’s just you and me, Daddy.”

Justin kissed the top of Gus’ head and hugged the boy tighter, thrilled to hear that perfect word once again.

***

Washington D.C. 6:30 p.m.

Brian rubbed at his scruffy beard as he waited for the car rental attendant to deliver him the G.P.S. for the car. He gazed at his reflection in the car’s rearview mirror and barely recognized himself. He had days’ worth of beard growth on his face and though he’d had a sleeper car, he’d done very little of it due to the constant noise and movement of the train, which caused dark circles to form under his eyes. He shuddered as he realized that he actually looked his age.

He took out his phone and called Justin’s cell, but it went directly to voicemail. They had gotten tickets to take Gus and Jenny to The Nutcracker, something Brian hadn’t wanted to attend, but Gus had begged and got his way at the time of planning. The show started at six, Brian recalled, and realized this was why Justin wasn’t answering his phone. He left a message, “I’m in D.C. and I rented a car. The roads and weather are clear from here to New York. I’ll see you around 10:30 tonight.”

The rental attendant tapped on the driver’s window and Brian rolled it down. “Here you are, Mr. Kinney.”

Brian took the G.P.S. from him. “Thanks.”

“Do you need me to show you how it works?”

“No thanks, I’ve got the same model in my car at home.”

“All right, drive safely and thanks for doing business with us. Happy Holidays.”

“Thanks, Happy Holidays,” Brian replied and rolled up his window. He wasn’t normally one to be in the holiday spirit and he definitely didn’t feel the spirit to reply to such sentiments, but the man had pulled strings to get him into a car quickly and he deserved some thanks and kindness in return.
 

***

9:35 p.m.

“…and to all a good night,” Justin read the last lines of the book and closed it.

“Daddy will be here to read it tomorrow night, right?” Gus asked, yawning and snuggling further into his bed.

“Yes,” Justin said and kissed his cheek. “He said he’s only an hour away. You know, he’s gone through an awful lot to get home to us. He’s probably going to be very tired tomorrow so maybe we should let him sleep in.”

“Okay,” Gus spoke sleepily. “We can bake Christmas cookies while we wait for him to wake up.”

“That sounds like a plan, buddy.” Justin pulled the duvet up around Gus’ shoulders. “Now get some sleep.”

“Will Dad wake me up to say goodnight to me when he gets here?”

“You’ll be fast asleep by then,” Justin said, knowing what a sound sleeper Gus could be. “You might not even wake up when he carries you into your bed.”

“Yes I will,” Gus said, struggling to keep his eyes open.

“As soon as he gets here, he’ll come say goodnight to you.”

“K. Night, Daddy.”

Justin kissed Gus one more time and turned out the light. “Goodnight, buddy.”
 

***

Newark, New Jersey 9:45 p.m.

“Hey! Where are you?”

“I’m not even sure why you ask at this point,” Brian grumbled. “Do you remember me telling you that the heater was fucked up and I had to crack the window to cool the car down?”

“Yes,” Justin gasped. “What happened?”

“Five seconds after I hung up with you, the fucking car overheated.”

“Shit! Where are you?”

“Newark.”

“Well, I’ll come and get you then. Ted and Blake are here and can watch Gus. I just put him to bed. It’s only…”

“I was a block away from a bus station when it happened. I’m already on a bus headed there and just so you know, I’m not going to call you when I get close because then the bus might just break down six blocks away and there will be a riot in the streets that I can’t pass and I’ll have to sleep in a homeless shelter, gazing at our apartment through the grubby window from my ratty, lice-infested cot.”

Justin couldn’t help but laugh at his partner’s dramatics. However, he didn’t blame Brian for being so frustrated; he wasn’t sure he could cope as well as Brian had been. It warmed his heart to know that Brian was willing to go through so much to make it home for Christmas. “Brian, I don’t think Chelsea has a homeless shelter anywhere.”

“Shit, fuck, my battery is dying because I didn’t have a car charger. Fuck! I’ll talk to you later.”

“Love you!”

Brian powered down his phone to save the tiny amount of battery left just in case another emergency popped up and at this point in his journey, he was pretty sure that one definitely would. He’d never admit it aloud, but he understood why Melanie and Lindsay had gone into hysterics when their wedding plans had fallen apart piece by piece and wondered if Mercury was once again in retrograde. That was preferable to thinking that maybe he just didn’t deserve to be home with his family.
 

***

Monday, December 24, 2007
12:35 a.m.

“Excuse me, excuse me, sir! Sir, is a tenant expecting you?” Marco, the night doorman of their apartment complex ran after Brian.

“I am a fucking tenant!” Brian spun around and glared at the man who dared to touch him.

Marco’s dark face paled. “Oh, Mr. Kinney. My God, are you all right? You look terrible, I didn’t even recognize you.”

“I’m fine, or I will be once I get to my apartment.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Kinney, you just…”

Brian waved the man off and stalked toward the stairwell. With the way the last couple of days had been, there was no way in Hell he was chancing getting stuck in an elevator. Six flights up, he wanted to collapse but he forced himself to continue to climb the marble staircase and finally, what felt like decades later, he reached the eighth floor. He walked down the hall, passing Apartment A, and with great relief he reached Apartment B. He’d barely raised his fist to knock on the door when it swung open.

“Brian!” Justin flung himself into Brian’s arms, making them both stumble out into the hallway.

Brian could barely stand and was too tired to do much more than open his mouth so Justin could take complete control of the kiss.

Justin felt Brian completely slump against the wall and worriedly pulled away from him. “Jesus Christ! Are you all right?” He kicked the briefcase Brian had dropped outside the door, into the apartment and pulled Brian in after him, taking off his coat and suit jacket along the way.

Brian felt like he was in a daze entering the apartment. It was almost too good to be true. “I’m fine,” he mumbled.

Justin locked up the apartment and came to stand in front of Brian, who hadn’t moved an inch. His blue eyes darkened as he assessed his husband. “You don’t look fine.”

“A little rest and I’ll be perfect,” Brian said, trying to smile as he stumbled out of his shoes.

“Come on, let’s go get you in the shower, okay?”

“First,” Brian said, “I gotta say hi to Gus.” He was a little overwhelmed with how good it felt, how truly grateful he was to see his son and husband. The trip had been hell, but it was all worth it.

“Dad!” Gus barreled down the stairs and ran toward Brian but stopped short when he saw how awful his father looked. “Are you okay?” he asked in a tiny voice.

Brian nodded and stared at his son who seemed to have aged a whole year in the two months since he’d seen him last. “I’m okay now.”

Gus slowly stepped forward and once Brian held his arms out he stepped in and gave his father a tentative hug. “Come on, you can come tuck me into bed. I stayed awake all this time waiting for you.”

“I thought Justin put you to bed hours ago.” Brian yawned as Gus pulled him by the hand down the hallway, practically tripping over his feet.

Gus smiled back at his father deviously. “I was only pretending.”

Justin laughed, knowing full well that Gus had been sleeping deeply only fifteen minutes before when he’d gone into the bedroom to check on him. He left the Kinney men to say their goodnights and walked around the apartment, shutting off all the lights and setting the apartment’s alarm. When he was finished, he walked down the hall to Gus’ room and saw Brian lying on his side, facing Gus on the full-size bed, looking much too long for it as his feet stuck out the bottom of the covers.

“We’re gonna bake cookies while you sleep,” Gus whispered to Brian. “And when you wake up we can decorate the tree and do all the stuff we were supposed to do. Right, dad?”

Justin waited along with Gus to hear Brian’s affirmation, but nothing came. Gus’ head popped up from his pillow and he looked up at Justin. “He’s asleep.”

Justin laughed and walked into the room and over to Brian. He gently shook his shoulder, “Brian, come on, you don’t want to fall asleep in here.”

“Dad, wake up,” Gus spoke, directly into Brian’s ear. His father gave no response but the soft sound of snoring. “I don’t think he’s gonna get up.”

Justin sighed. “Well, you think we can all fit in this bed?”

Gus grinned and nodded. “Push Dad in the middle so we can both cuddle him.”

Justin laughed. “Well, he’s definitely asleep if he didn’t respond to that.”

“Why?”Gus asked.

“Never mind,” Justin said and pushed Brian toward the middle of the bed while Gus pulled on his arm to get him to budge from his spot. Once Justin had enough room, he crawled under the covers and spooned Brian, his body relaxing for the first time since Brian left almost two weeks before.

“We really are going to do all the fun stuff with Dad, right?” Gus asked draping his arm over Brian’s waist and patting Justin’s hand.

“Yes, we are,” Justin promised.

Gus sighed deeply. “I thought this was gonna be the worstest Christmas ever if Dad couldn’t be here. But now it’s the best.”

Justin snuggled, yes, snuggled against Brian’s warm body and whispered, “I think you’re right, Gus.” Having Brian home in his arms, even if it wasn’t in their bed, made all the difference in the world, and he was grateful that nothing had stopped his man from coming home to them.

The End

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