Alone
This was his first holiday season without HIM. He was alone, and he preferred it that way. But there were very few of his supposed friends that actually understood. Ever since HE went off to find fame and fortune, Brian found it easier to spend his nights alone and quiet at the loft. He kept Britin for when he’d finally get to use it in the manner that he had intended. But for now, Brian found that renting it to filthy rich paid the mortgage. And it wasn’t as if they had broken up, they just weren’t together, for the moment.
He sat working at his computer in his favorite worn jeans and in one of HIS t-shirts, tweaking Kinnetik’s most recent campaign. He discovered that if he kept the loft dark with just the glow from the bedroom lights to keep him company, that most people assumed he wasn’t home. Occasionally some brave soul would bang at his door, Brian ignored them. There was no one he cared to see.
As Brian changed a font color to orange, he paused, grinned then shook his head. This holiday didn’t quite turn out like he had planned. In fact, it was one of the worst holidays he ever experienced. And considering he was Brian fucking Kinney, that said a lot. He had planned to spend the time with Gus. The girls had actually agreed to put Gus on a plane to Pittsburgh. It was all arranged until Gus came down with a bad head cold and couldn’t fly. Brian understood, he really did, and promised his son that as soon as he could, Brian would fly up to him. It was all arranged, until a freak snowstorm forced all the airports to close. The girls understood - no drama. So Brian and Gus spent every evening on the phone together from Christmas to New Year’s, taking turns reading bedtime stories to each other. On Christmas morning, Brian called and with the phone on speaker, Gus kept a running commentary on each gift as he tore open the wrapping. Brian closed his eyes, while sipping his coffee as he listened to each word.
Fortunately, some of Brian’s friends got it; Michael, was not one of them. Michael continually tried to involve Brian in his daily life, calling constantly, dropping in at Kinnetik and inviting Brian to dinner in the ‘burbs.’ Brian politely rebuffed each invitation until Michael sent in the big guns - Debbie. That only succeeded in getting Brian to the diner for coffee early one morning before he headed to the office.
Surprisingly, it was Ted who actually got it. Ted realized that Brian needed to work. And work was just what Brian got. Between Ted and Cynthia, they had Brian hustling, so to speak. It was a good strategy. Brian remained sharp, his ideas on the cutting edge, and the bottom line proved it. Clients were lining up at door, and at Babylon too!
Emmett also got it. In his not so subtle way, Emmett finagled Brian’s loft keys and the alarm code. Emmett made sure the refrigerator was stocked with more than beer, poppers and peanut butter. With all the Brian Kinney approved low carb meals and snacks, there wasn’t any room for anything illicit. And since Brian was on the go with work, he had little time for anything else. Which was fine with him. He liked being alone; he really did.
Brian paused then saved his work as his cell phone danced across his desk, vibrating. He recognized the number and answered it anyway.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“No, just working. How’s it going?”
“Fine. You?”
“Peachy.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing. Literally.”
“Care to share?” HE asked. Brian shared. “That sucks and not in a positive life affirming way.”
“How was yours?”
“A little better than yours. Mom and Daph were here but they could only stay for a few days. Mom had a big sale pending, and Daph was on her way to France to meet up with her parents.” HE paused. “I miss you.”
“Me too,” he whispered.
“Will everything be there when I come back?”
“You coming back? The Big Apple hasn’t turned your pretty blond head?”
“It did for all of three days but then I discovered something.”
“Enlighten me.”
“You can’t paint if you can’t see the canvas.”
“Pitiful, Sunshine. You youngsters just can’t take it. No stamina.”
“Yeah? Maybe I still have a few things to learn from the old man,” HE snarked. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“Which question was that?” Brian needed to hear it again.
“Will everything still be there when I come home?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry about Britin.”
“Don’t be, it’ll be there too. The solarium will make the perfect studio.”
“Yes, it will.” HE paused. “You know I don’t mind if you trick.”
“I know but I don’t see the point.”
“You don’t see the... Is this really Brian Kinney or a pod person?”
“I’m me but a me that’s gotten used to being alone.”
“You don’t really mean that.”
“I mean that I prefer being here, alone, than being with some meaningless trick. I can wait.”
“Now I know you’re a pod person,” HE laughed.
“Maybe I’ve finally grown up.”
“Thank the gods one of us has. Sometimes I think I made a mistake coming here, alone. I should have found a way to learn my craft there, with you.”
“No regrets, Sunshine. You were right, are right. Take this time, learn what you need to learn, and network. Then come home.”
“Brian,” HE whispered with a hitch in his voice. Brian could almost hear the ‘allergies’ start to fall. “I don’t like it that you’re all alone.”
“Don’t worry, Justin,” Brian finally said HIS name. “I may be alone but I’m not lonely.”
They paused.
“Later.”
“Later.”
-end-
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