Wear No Disguise For Me

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Justin stepped out of the diner and realized it wasn't any cooler outside than it had been in there. He tried to ignore the heat and secretly longed for fall. It was after eight, but still ridiculously hot and it would be until the sun finally went down. The sound of a horn startled him, and he looked around and discovered Brian waiting for him. That in itself was odd, but even stranger, he was driving the SUV he bought for the winter.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" he asked as he settled into the blessedly cool interior. He would have kissed Brian, but he hated it when he dripped sweat on him.

"Saving your ass from the indignities of public transportation," was the only answer he got, but he noticed Brian was driving away from the loft.

"If we're going somewhere, I should really shower first," he gestured to indicate his rumpled and flushed appearance.

"We're not so don't worry about it. And no fucking questions," Brian turned to glare at him.

To his credit, Justin didn't sigh, bitch, or even roll his eyes. Brian had been extremely tense lately, and if the grip his hands had on the steering wheel was any indication, now was not the time to push him. Justin forced himself to relax. Between the comfort of the air conditioning, the motion of the car, and the background noise of some music from Brian's youth that he only dragged out when he was feeling unsettled or old, Justin soon drifted into a light sleep.

When he opened his eyes, it was dark outside. According to the clock, it was after one in the morning. "What the fuck," he mumbled when he realized he might never move his neck normally again.

"It's alive," Brian taunted. "You know, you may be the worst traveling companion ever."

Justin shifted in his seat so he could see Brian without turning his head too much. "Would you rather I sang Barbara Streisand songs and told you stories about all the psychopaths and losers I've picked up?" They both laughed remembering the long and almost unbearable ride back from New York.

"Never mind, go back to sleep," Brian reached for his hand. Justin noticed he looked tired but more relaxed.

"I'm fine. Do you want me to drive for awhile? And where the fuck are we?"

"There is no way in hell you are driving my car," he held up his hand to prevent a familiar argument. "As to where we are, we're," his voice trailed off for a moment, "somewhere. Does it matter?"

"No," it never does he added to himself. They settled back into a comfortable silence. An hour later, Brian exited the freeway and headed for a 24 hour restaurant. Justin was thankful it was a chain and not one of those scary truck stop places.

The place was almost empty, and Justin blinked owlishly in the overly bright lights. You'd think they could turn them down a bit at night, he complained silently. Brian had his first cigarette lit before they reached their table. Since he'd given up smoking in his precious vehicles, Justin was surprised he hadn't lit up in the parking lot. Once they ordered, he headed to the restroom in hopes of cleaning up enough to feel human.

He shouldn't have been startled when Brian came in a few minutes later, but he was. He jumped slightly when he felt arms go around his waist and a warm tongue found his ear.

Brian laughed quietly, "Little boys like you shouldn't wander into strange places all alone. Didn't your mommy teach you about the buddy system?"

He looked up and met Brian's eyes in the mirror, "I'm not so little anymore."

Brian cupped his crotch and smiled appreciatively, "I can tell. Should we do something about that?"

He turned around and kissed Brian roughly while undoing his pants. Once he'd worked his hands into Brian's underwear, he pulled back. "Fuck or suck?" he asked arching one eyebrow.

"What do you think?" was all he heard Brian say before he was pulled into the nearest stall and pushed up against the wall.

His food was waiting by the time Justin returned to the table. Once Brian had left, he continued his aborted clean-up. Feeling refreshed and quite satisfied, he decided to find out what exactly Brian had planned. "This is an awful lot of trouble to go to just to dump my body in the river," he said as he cut into his omelet.

"You shouldn't give me ideas, but I have no plans to dump your body in a river or anywhere else. I'd never get away with it anyway because," his voice lifted on the last word inviting Justin to finish.

"It's always the boyfriend!" they said together laughing. The joke came from Justin's fascination with forensic science shows. Brian bitched endlessly that they were no fun since all the women were killed by their boyfriends, husbands, exes etc. No matter how many suspects they had, it was always the boyfriend.

"So, if you're not planning to kill me, what are we doing?"

"Vacationing."

Justin almost choked on his toast. "You're kidding. Aren't you supposed to tell me these things?"

Brian shrugged, "What for? If you paid any attention, you would have noticed your suitcase in the back. And I took care of your schedule with Debbie."

"So everyone knew but me?"

"No, just Debbie. I told her to tell anyone who asked I had a last minute business trip and decided to take you along."

"Why not tell me?" Justin still couldn't figure out Brian's motive. He suppressed a bit of hurt knowing Brian still needed to hide the depth of their relationship.

"It seemed like a good time. Summer session is done and you have a few weeks before you need to be back at school. Everything is stable at Kinnetik, but I didn't want to get your hopes up in case something changed. We don't have the best track record - Vermont, Ibiza." Brian wrinkled his nose and made a face at the last word.

His relief at Brian's ability to joke about Ibiza convinced him to let Brian have his fun. "So now that I know, where are we going?"

"You'll find out when we get there," was all Brian would tell him.

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Getting there ending up taking several more hours most of which Justin slept through. It was late morning when they arrived at a two-story beach house. Justin had been awake long enough to know they were somewhere in Maine. "Brian, this is beautiful. How did you find it?" Justin asked once Brian let them in. He quickly took in the large open rooms, the abundance of natural light, and the gleaming hardwood floors.

"One of my clients owns it and offered to let me use it." Brian led him up the stairs into the master bedroom. He quickly stripped and collapsed onto the bed. "There should be directions in the kitchen to the nearest store. See what's here and then get whatever we need. Don't let me sleep for more than four hours."

"I thought I wasn't allowed to drive your car," Justin couldn't resist teasing.

"It doesn't count if I'm not in it," Brian muttered already falling asleep.

When Justin returned a few hours later, Brian still hadn't moved. He hadn't wanted to be gone long, but he spent a little time exploring the town. The streets were lined with small shops selling everything from handmade candles to really bad touristy watercolors to fresh fish. Justin had bought as little as possible at the grocery store favoring instead fresh items from the local shops.

Once he had the food put away, he explored the house. The main floor included the kitchen, dining room, and living room. All the rooms were beautifully furnished and decorated. French doors led to a large deck with a professional grill. From there, a short path led to a small cove that, based on the signs he saw, was their private beach. The upstairs included two bedrooms with a connecting bath in addition to the master bedroom. While Brian slept, Justin unpacked and familiarized himself with the room he intended to spend a lot of time in. He was happy to see a chaise in addition to the four poster bed. If they moved over to the fireplace, they could have some very nice evenings. The attached bath had a shower larger than the loft's as well as a Jacuzzi tub. But Justin's favorite feature was the balcony that looked out to the water. He'd have to find out who Brian's client was and be sure to thank him.

He let Brian sleep an hour longer than he'd requested. He passed the time sketching Brian as long as his hand would allow. He rarely got to see Brian this relaxed and he couldn't resist trying to capture it. Finally, he put the sketchbook aside, and went to fill up the tub. After removing his own clothes, he settled next to Brian in the bed.

Justin trailed his hand gently up and down Brian's back gradually increasing the pressure. When Brian began to stir, he kissed his left shoulder, then the back of his neck, and then he licked a line halfway down his back. Brian took the silent hint and didn't try to roll over.

Justin loved the taste of Brian and the different textures of his skin. He covered every exposed inch from the soles of his feet to the tips of his ears with kisses, gentle bites, and long sweeps of his tongue. He was concentrating on the sensitive skin of his inner thighs when he felt Brian begin to shift restlessly. He sucked lightly at a small section of skin and placed his index finger against his hole. He heard Brian gasp lightly as he teased the opening, tracing and pressing against it, but never seeking entry. When he was sure Brian's patience was ending, he replaced his finger with his tongue.

Everything Justin knew about rimming, he learned from Brian and he used that to his advantage. He knew how to lull him into a haze of pleasure and then plunge his tongue inside without warning. He knew how to bring him to the edge and slowly back down. Most importantly, he knew when to stop.

Brian pushed up to his knees when Justin pulled away to get the lube and a condom. Justin made quick work of preparing both of them, but took his time entering Brian. He loved burying himself inside Brian, loved feeling Brian stretch to accommodate him, loved the heat that surrounded him. He pushed in inch by inch and savored every moment.

Once he was in, Brian pushed back against him impatiently trying to control the rhythm, but Justin would have none of it. He fucked Brian with long steady strokes keeping them both close to the edge. He licked and bit every piece of skin he could reach. When he knew he couldn't last much longer, he reached for Brian's cock. The extra stimulation was all Brian needed, and Justin allowed Brian's orgasm to trigger his own.

A few minutes later, he lay next to Brian once again running his hand gently up and down his back. They were both quiet as their breathing and heart rates returned to normal. Finally Brian turned to him and kissed him softly.

"Not that I don't appreciate it, but you really don't need to go to so much trouble. All you have to do is ask."

"Liar," Justin teased him lightly. "But come with me, I have another surprise for you." Justin led him into the bathroom, and they were soon immersed in the warm bubbling water.

"Very nice, but where are the candles, the dim lights, and the wine?"

"As amusing as I find it, I try to limit the times I cause you to run screaming from the room."

"We may survive this vacation yet," Brian smiled appreciatively before pulling Justin to him. It was a long time before either spoke again.

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The next afternoon, Justin was enjoying the water while Brian lounged nearby in the shade. "If your dick gets sunburned, no blowjobs for you Sunshine," Brian taunted him.

"After you covered me in SPF nine hundred, I'll be lucky to get a light tan." For good measure he flicked some water in Brian's general direction.

"I didn't hear you complaining when I made sure every inch of your body was covered. Besides, too much sun can lead to premature signs of aging."

"I don't think they can be considered premature in your case," Justin laughed as he anticipated Brian's next move. He wasn't disappointed when a few minutes later Brian tackled him with a growl. He knew he'd find a way to get Brian off the beach.

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A few nights later, Justin wondered if he'd ever been happier. The only light in the bedroom came from the fire. Brian was sitting with his back propped against the chaise, and Justin's head was in his lap. They'd settled on the floor after spending several hours proving this chaise was just as comfortable as the one at home. Brian stroked his hair while they stared at the flames.

"I can't believe you ordered a lobster dinner," Brian complained predictably.

"There was nothing wrong with it. The lobster was fresh," Justin protested. "It's not like a dialed up Red Lobster or anything. Do you know how hard it was to find a five star restaurant that delivers? And I don't recall you complaining while you were eating it."

"That's not the point. I thought you wanted to experience the wonders of Maine first hand. At least that's what you keep telling me."

"Under no circumstances do the wonders of Maine include throwing a living animal into a pot of boiling water. They scream you know," Justin wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"But it's perfectly alright for someone to do it for you?" Brian continued to bait him.

"Of course, that's completely different. I don't recall you slaughtering any of your own meat," as soon as he said it Justin knew Brian would pounce.

"I don't have to. My meat always comes to me."

Justin couldn't help but laugh. "Shut up. You are such an egomaniac." He pushed playfully against Brian's chest.

They fell silent again. Justin was about to drift off to sleep when Brian said his name softly. "Hmm," was the only answer he gave. He felt some tension enter Brian's body and feared he wouldn't like what he had to say.

"Should I be spending more time with Gus?"

"Not unless you want to."

"But Michael. . . "

Justin sighed loudly effectively cutting Brian off. He pushed himself off his lap and into a sitting position. "I'm not the person you want to discuss Michael with."

"What's that supposed to mean? You two get along."

"Yes, we do. But consciously or unconsciously, Michael has accidentally undermined our relationship too many times. And we both know there's a part of him that would love for me to disappear."

"Point taken, but this isn't about us. Maybe he's right about Gus."

Justin sighed again. He'd been avoiding this conversation for weeks. As Megan had gotten older, Michael had taken a more active role in her life. Which was fine except he'd decided Brian needed to be as devoted a father as he was. He'd recently taken to having Gus call Brian with invitations to go places with Michael and Megan. Justin was becoming increasing frustrated with Michael's manipulation, but since he swore to stay out of Brian and Michael's relationship he hadn't said anything. "Let me ask you something. Are you the father you want to be?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know? I never wanted to be a father at all."

"Exactly. You've gone well beyond the arrangement you had with Melanie and Lindsay. Gus has two parents who are raising him. Your relationship with him is a bonus."

"But Megan has Michael. Doesn't Gus deserve a father too?"

"That's not what this is about. This is about Michael wanting to play happy family with you, and Lindsay encouraging it because of her occasional psychotic hetero fantasies. If being a full time father is what Michael wants, that's great. And it's also great that he wants to include Gus. But he should also be including Ben and Hunter instead of trying to use Gus to get to you. Lindsay and Melanie chose to have different fathers and different parenting arrangements for their children. If there is any fallout from that, they are responsible. And Brian, you know how you are when you are forced into something. Gus deserves better than that."

Brian looked a little shocked when Justin finished. "I take it you've given this some thought. Why haven't you said anything?"

"I knew we'd talk about it when you were ready. There was no reason to force the issue."

"How very Zen like, waiting for me to come to you. You've been having lunch with Ben again haven't you?"

Justin knew the subject of Gus was closed. He was glad to hear a lighter note enter Brian's voice. "Maybe, what do you care?"

"You know what a pain in the ass you are when you get all self-actualized. Next thing you know you'll start talking in fortune cookie and meditating."

"There's nothing wrong with meditating."

"That's where it starts. Then you'll tell me you are moving to Tibet because I have nothing to offer you in the face of Eastern mysticism," Brian sighed dramatically.

He knew Brian was teasing, but he decided to answer him. "You're you; that's enough."

Brian snorted, "Since when?"

"Since always."

Brian was laughing in earnest now, "Talk about bullshit."

"No it's not. I've always loved you for who you are."

"And all the years you spent trying to change me?"

"I was not trying to change you. I was helping you give up the stupid image of yourself you were so in love with. It's not my fault everyone fell for it."

"Maybe I liked my image," Brian protested.

"Of course you did, but you knew it was time for more. Otherwise you never would have let me stay," Justin answered looking slightly smug.

"I seem to recall telling you to leave many, many times."

"You didn't mean it," Justin said dismissively. "The one time I thought you did I left. But once I knew I was wrong I came back."

"I let you come back, and don't you forget it," Brian tried to look stern, but he was smiling.

"You are so delusional."

"Speaking of delusional, what makes you think I didn't want you to leave?"

"I just knew. Just like I know you love me even though you never say it. Just like you knew you could trust me again. We know each other."

"We know each other?" One eyebrow raised, Brian was the picture of mockery.

Justin had made his point and decided it was time illustrate it in a much more pleasurable manor, "Very, very well. For instance I know that if I do this," he swirled his tongue along the hollow of Brian's throat. "You'll move your head so I can do this," he scraped his teeth lightly over his earlobe once Brian moved just as Justin had predicted. "And you know if you stroke me here," he moved Brian's hand to the sensitive skin just behind his balls. "You'll have me begging for you in less than five minutes," he voice became husky as Brian followed his instructions.

"I think it will be a lot less than five minutes," Brian said as he pressed his body over Justin's.

"See you do know me," Justin manages to get out before Brian kissed him.

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"People actually pay for this shit? You can do better than that in your sleep. In fact, I'm sure you have," Brian made a face at the poorly done seascape. "We need to move to a tourist town. You could make a fortune selling your worst pieces."

"I thought you said I'd be better off selling my ass."

"Will you stop with the hustler fantasies. You still haven't gotten me to pay."

"Oh that's right. I forgot you're paying for my education out of the goodness of your heart." Justin leaned his head on Brian's shoulder, looked up at him, and batted his eyelashes. "You're sooo good to me."

"Fuck off," Brian shoved him away playfully.

Justin moved away to examine an especially tacky oil painting. "We should get this for Debbie. She'd love it." They were leaving early the next morning and Justin had convinced Brian to go into town for some gifts.

"OK, that's enough. Time to move on before your taste is permanently damaged," Brian herded Justin toward the exit.

A few stores later, Justin browsed the gourmet section for something for his mother while Brian looked at the glass figurines Cynthia collected.

"Put down the jar and step back now."

Justin jumped at the unexpected voice. "Jesus, Brian you scared me. You're lucky I didn't break anything."

"As long as that," he gestured in disgust at the jar in Justin's hand, "doesn't come home with us, I don't care what you break."

Justin looked at him as he'd lost his mind, "It's a jar of blueberry jam, Brian."

"I know what it is. Understand Justin, this blueberry obsession ends now. If I never see another blueberry it will be too soon. I kept waiting for them to show up in my coffee," Brian shuddered dramatically.

"It's not my fault we had all those wild blueberry bushes. I didn't want them to go to waste," Justin laughed. "I promise no more blueberries for a while."

"Whatever, just hurry up. We only have a few hours of hot tub time left, and I don't want to waste them shopping."

"Brian Kinney turning down shopping! What is the world coming to?" Justin tried to look properly horrified.

"I don't see any designer labels lying around, do you? Quaint country shops are not my thing. On the other hand, I'm very fond of hot steamy baths and hot steamy sex," he whispered the last words in Justin's ear.

"I think I'm ready," Justin barely managed to get out as he hastily shoved the jar back on the shelf.

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Justin hated to leave the next morning. Not only had they survived their first vacation together, they'd had a wonderful time. The week had been almost perfect. Justin had never seen Brian so relaxed for such a long period of time. Brian had always been different in the privacy of the loft, but this week he'd had no one to perform for. Justin loved seeing Brian happy and playful. He'd been able to let his guard down as well. They weren't on display for every fag in Pittsburgh. He could openly express his feelings without worrying about how Brian would react. He had mellowed over the years, but his instinct was still to protect his reputation as the "Stud of Liberty Avenue" even if he was the only one who cared. Justin had been living his dream for the past week, and he was reluctant to leave it behind.

He tried to stay awake for as much of the trip home as possible. He and Brian chatted about whatever came to mind. Everything from the silly birds that lived on the beach to the upcoming schedules to their mutual hatred for baseball. Justin kept the conversations light, and time passed quickly. Brian was on a mission as always and insisted on stopping as little as possible. Eventually, the motion of the car lulled him to sleep.

When he woke up, they were only about an hour away from Pittsburgh. The fucking music was back on, and he could already see the tension creeping back into Brian's face. Vacation was over. Now it was back to the real world. Back to Kinnetik and Michael. Back to impossible schedules and hurried fucks in the shower.

Justin sighed softly, and Brian reached for his hand. He squeezed tightly for a moment before relaxing his fingers around Justin's.

Justin leaned back in his seat, his thumb stroking Brian's palm. "After Christmas we should go somewhere warm," he said not expecting an answer.

Brian turned toward him with a slightly tired smile, "Sounds good." He kissed Justin quickly before turning his attention back to the road.

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