The Threes

Chapter 3

Choices
 

Maybe I fainted again, I don't know, but the next thing I remember did not take place in the same location as the previous one. The pain was every bit as fierce as before, but somehow it felt different. I felt different.

"So, Valentine. You're awake, more or less," a familiar voice said. "Good morning, twilight and night, my dearest. Now, how ‘bout getting up?"

"I don't think he can hear you, Ranin," another familiar voice chimed in. "Not that it's a great loss, of course, considering the nonsense you just said."

I opened my one eye and saw the two bickering angels, Ranin and Jokela. At once, I understood what made me feel different. They were towering beneath me; my sense of up and down was askew again.

"Actually," I rudely spoke on top of the two angels. "I can hear you. Your voices are very loud. Every word makes the pain in my eye and head worse. Would you mind turning the volume down, considerably?"

A silvery laughter chimed behind me. I turned my aching head and spotted the third angel, Rinne, sitting on a couch. She was beaming at me. I tried to smile back, but the pain turned my smile into a grimace.

Rinne stood up and walked to me. She reached out a hand and helped me on my feet. As I stood on wobbly legs, tears of pain flowing down my cheeks, I felt her big hands covering my head. First the hands felt a little warm, then they cooled down. Soon they were colder than any winter day I've had the pleasure to shiver through. The cold numbed the pain.

"Better?" Rinne asked letting go of my head.

The cold lifted with her hands, and the pain seemed to go with it. Relieved, I smiled at the angel. "Much better, thank you, my Lady. It's good to see you again." I meant it. I felt very genuine love warming my heart. "So, is the challenge over, or why am I here?"

"It's over," Rinne seemed very pleased. "Congratulations. You succeeded. Splendidly!"

Rinne's grey teeth flashed in the soft light of the candles that were the only source of illumination in the room. It wasn't the same room I saw earlier. It was smaller, lighter, and cozier. Rinne led me to the couch and offered me a mug of something warm and scented. It was delicious, too. What it was, I couldn't tell.

"Are you ready for the next step?" Rinne asked after a brief moment of silent indulging in the drinks. "Has the pain abated enough for you to concentrate completely on something else?"

"I'm not sure." I wasn't about to repeat my former mistake of rushing into things with her. I remembered too well what seeing her real appearance did to my blood pressure. "What does the next step entail?"

"As I told you, there's a purpose behind the challenge," Rinne said getting serious. "Since you succeeded in the challenge, the purpose can now be reached."

"What did you say? What I accomplished in the challenge was not enough?" A little cold finger ran down my spine. "What else do you need from me?"

"Nothing more, Val. Don't worry. You've given all that is needed. It's the other part of the gift that is yet to be achieved."

"I don't understand." As always, her explanations woke up more questions in my mind than put ones at rest.

"You will." Her smile was mischievous.

Exasperating, Lady, I thought as loudly as I could. Rinne's smile grew into an even more impish grin.

Rinne stood up and told me to get up as well. With her I followed the other angels out of the room. We stepped on a road that was suspended in the air. Since I still felt like my feet were up and my head was down, I didn't enjoy the scenery. Fortunately, it wasn't a long walk.

We arrived at a simple wooden door that was standing ajar. Nothing else was there: no wall, no windows, nothing. The road just ended at the door. I took a look back, and as I assumed, there was another door at the other end of the road. That one was closed.

"Prims are waiting, so let's go in," Rinne said and opened the door wide for us.

The room behind the door was nothing like the two others I had seen in the angels' realm. It was an enormous space filled with soft, white lights. The space was octagonal in shape. The walls, the ceiling and the floor seemed to be made of pale green glass. I didn't see any furniture.

The lights weren't there for illumination; they were the inhabitants of the room. They were everywhere, like fish in the sea, moving in swarms, swirling around. They were large, but still they seemed weightless and without any particular shape.

"Come, Valentine Amos, let's go to the podium," Jokela called from ahead as I stood just inside the room, staring at the lights. "Prims are waiting, as you see."

"Prims?" I asked Rinne as we walked the considerable distance to the podium that was in the middle of the large room. It wasn't in the middle of the floor; literally, it was in the middle of the space. The damn thing was floating in the air, made of air, and invisible. We were walking up an aisle that my mind kept telling me did not exist to the podium that in my perception didn't exist either.

"Short for primordials," Rinne explained the strange word. "Val, we will explain things to you. Be patient."

Sighing, I tried to follow her advice. Since I was brimming with questions, it wasn't easy. A moment later, we reached the platform, and the primordials surrounded us. Angels and I were standing in the middle of the dancing lights.

"Beautiful," I couldn't help commenting.

"Very," Rinne said with a fond smile. "But, let's begin with the ritual. Ranin, Jokela. Take your points."

The black angel took a position on my left, the white moved to my right and the gray stepped behind me, leaving me in the center point of a triangle.

The three angels broke into a strange, undulating sound that was nothing like music but, at the same time, was much more than noise. It was beautiful, but it wasn't lovely. It wasn't loud, either, but very soft. To me it felt like a summons.

The swirling lights moved back. Soon, there was a big, empty space around the three angels. As the angels' song reached its peak and ended, I was suddenly lifted above them.

"Behold!" Jokela intoned in a booming voice. "Valentine Amos Ainsworth. A man that sacrificed his life so another could live. Challenged by the Shades. Your chance!"

"Behold!" Rinne's voice rang with pride and joy. "Val Ainsworth. The man that took the Challenge of the Threes. Challenged to take a leap of faith. Your hope!"

"Behold!" Ranin bellowed. "Valentine Ainsworth. The man that proved his worth in the Challenge of the Threes. Challenged to make sacrifices for life, in order to live. Your Champion!"

"Search within," all the angels said together. "Answer the call if it resonates with you."

Every light stopped moving. For a moment, they hovered in place; then one of the lights came closer, just a little closer, and the others started to swirl again. The angels smiled welcomingly as the one, single light approached, slowly. "Come here," they urged the shying light. "Go to your Champion."

By then, I was feeling rather awkward.

As the light came closer, I sensed a feeling that wasn't my own. The primordial was brimming with great excitement.

I didn't share its feelings, but the closer the light came to me the clearer I felt that it needed me. There was something it expected me to do, and it felt right. I wanted to do it, I needed to do it. I existed to do it. Whatever it was.

What the hell am I thinking? I thought in alarm. Am I once again putting my neck in danger without thinking it through?

Calm down, Val. Rinne's thoughts touched mine. There's no danger. Nothing bad is going to happen.

Do you angels know the concept of privacy? I sent back. It isn't nice of you to sneak in anytime you like.

You're such a contrary group of people, you Christians, Ranin chimed in. You expect your God to give you everything you want, but at the same time, you want to have privacy of thought. How does that equation add up, Val? How does the God know what you want without sneaking into your thoughts?

You aren't the God; you're angels, I tried to defend my stand.

You want us to protect you in every moment of your life, but at the same time, you don't want us to know what you plan to do. That doesn't add up either.

Since I couldn't come up with a cutting answer to such a reasonable claim, I just sent out surly and petulant thoughts. The angels laughed at me.

While the angels and I had our little bastard son of a quarrel, the primordial reached me.

"Primordial." Addressing the light, Ranin arrested my attention, too. "In the challenge of the Darkness, the Black, Valentine sacrificed his health. Primordial, do you accept your Champion's gift?"

"This primordial does accept," the thing answered, but its words weren't mediated by the air. They came in the waves of light. Different waves, different colors. Its words were beautiful. Regardless, something bothered my mind.

"Primordial." Rinne was the next to address the light creature. "In the challenge of the Twilight, the Gray, Val sacrificed his dignity. Primordial, do you accept your Champion's gift?"

"This primordial does accept." The beautiful lights flickered again, and my apprehension grew.

"Primordial." It was Jokela's time. "In the challenge of the Light, the White, Valentine Amos sacrificed his sight. Primordial, do you accept your Champion's gift?"

"This primordial does accept."

Oh, dear! Does that mean...?

"The gifts are freely given and freely accepted. Primordial, are you ready?"

"This primordial is ready."

"Valentine Amos Ainsworth, are you ready?"

"I guess..." I said in a barely audible voice, but actually, I felt ready. I felt like a person that has been carrying a heavy load for a long time and is ready to give it up. "I am ready," I started again, the new-found certainty coloring my voice.

I couldn’t believe my own feelings.

The angels started again their strange song. The sounds surrounded the primordial and me. As the song grew in volume it also thickened; as impossible as it seems, the sounds had a peculiar feel of a weightless mass. They pressed against me, and in answer to their call, something moved inside of me.

A black cloud of something vaporous was drawn out of me, and suddenly I felt curiously numb. I was aware of my legs being there, but I didn't feel the limbs like before.

I could just about guess what left me with the black cloud, but there wasn't time to focus on it. Another cloud was leaving me: a gray one. I guess that's my dignity, that gray stuff, I thought.

I felt something loosening inside of me. It was as curious a feeling as the numbness, but again, there wasn't time to think about it. A cloud of something white was already pouring out of me, and in its wake, a sense of flatness spread throughout my being.

The black cloud gathered between the black angel's out-stretched hands, and the other two clouds found their ways to the respective angels. As the angels ended their song, I soared higher, away, and the primordial took my place upon the angels. With uncanny clarity, I knew that my part in the ritual was over.

Rinne, Ranin and Jokela sent the clouds towards the primordial. As they hit the light, the clouds were absorbed without resistance. This is it, this is the purpose of the challenge, I thought. This is the missing part of the gift: acceptance. The primordial accepts my gifts.

Oh! I was startled as a strong feeling took hold of my soul. I'm so happy!

I've never understood that the most crucial thing about gifting someone with something isn't the thing that is given but the act of giving and the act of accepting.

I gave the primordial some things that were very dear to me. It was hard to give up any one of the things. If the primordial hadn't accepted what was so hard to give I would be devastated.

I hope that the primordial will appreciate my gifts, but I can do without appreciation as long as my gifts won't be put aside.

Does the same apply to all gifts?

At that point my train of thought was disturbed by the satisfied voice of the black angel. "The first gift, health, will be the first deliverer," he said. "The second gift, dignity, will be the second deliverer," Rinne went on in a delighted voice, and Jokela carried on, saying in a joyful tone of voice, "The third gift, sight, will be the third deliverer."

Together Ranin, Rinne, and Jokela cried, "What was not, was possible. What is not, is close. What will never be, will be known. Healthy, dignified, and visionary. Rise!"

The primordial pulsated once, and the very bright, white light blinded me for a second. When I could see again, within the primordial there were three, dim concentrations of light that slowly were drawing apart. At the same time the light of the primordial was getting dimmer and dimmer. One of the concentrated lights was moving towards Rinne, and the other two were also approaching an angel. They stretched the primordial into the shape of a triangle and further. At the end, the primordial broke into three individual, lightless clouds.

The clouds were gray. In a moment, they began to take shape. Bit by bit, little by little, the clouds took the appearance similar to Rinne, the gray angel.

Three more angels, all gray? I thought in awe. Have I just witnessed the birth of three angels?

All around me the primordials were dancing in celebration. The three older angels were sporting huge smiles. "Val," Rinne called, whisking me down to their level and close to her. "We succeeded! Your gifts did the trick."

"The newborn angels need names," Ranin said in commanding tones. "Valentine, it's the last thing they need from you. Give them names."

"Me?"

"Val," Rinne chimed in. "These angels are three parts of something that until your gifts of health, dignity, and sight were accepted was one. Your gifts differentiate them from each other. Of course we could call them by those qualities, but names would be much better, don't you think?"

"Why me?"

"Valentine Amos," Jokela took up with the persuasion. "You're the perfect choice for the task. They are your qualities."

"Okay. Let me think."

It was quite a challenge, naming of the new angels. I felt the pressure of ages upon my shoulders. Angels are immortals. They'll have these names for eternity. I can't just blurt out the first three names that come to mind. Yeah. Han, Luke and Leia would make a nice triplet of angels.

Oh, dear! Rinne laughed in my thoughts. Val, you're evil!

Mentally, I showed her my tongue. But, you still like me.

I definitely do. Go on with your name seeking, my Mighty Champion.

As the other three angels talked in soft voices, I stared at the three new ones. As Rinne, they were female in appearance, tall, winged, beautiful. The only thing that clearly differed from Rinne's looks was in their eyes.

Rinne's irises were rings of fire. One of the new angels had irises of tiny birds, the second of splashes of water and the third of grass blades.

Rinne is a female, too, but her name doesn't seem feminine to me. It isn't a masculine one, either. Ranin and Jokela are gender neutral names, too, aren't they? I inquired in my thoughts, in hopes that the older angels would answer. No such luck.

The silence alerted me. I'm on to something...There must be some reason to the gender neutrality of their names.

A memory kindled in my mind. When I first met Rinne, she told me the significance of the colors. "White and black angels are those that have taken sides in the heavenly war," she said.

So, does that mean that before taking sides Ranin and Jokela were gray angels?

Also that question went unanswered, but I was pretty sure that I got it. Gender neutral names are better than gendered because the gender of an angel might change, I decided.

"I'm ready," I told Rinne, and she called for the new angels that meanwhile had hovered close by. They gathered into a row in front of me.

"Which one of you got my health?" I asked, and an angel took a step forward. "I give you the name Hare. Do you accept?"

"I certainly do. Thank you, Valentine," the angel replied: her first words ever.

As soon as the angel accepted the name, she seemed different to me. Unlike Rinne, who read like a woman, she seemed like a teenage girl. Hare gave me a bright smile. I couldn't help smiling back like an indulgent uncle.

But, I had to go on with the naming. "Which one of you got my dignity?" I asked, and the second angel stepped closer. "I give you the name Deer. Do you accept?"

"I do accept. Thank you, Valentine!"

Again the angel changed before my very eyes. As her sister, she changed from an ageless woman to a teenage girl. Somehow, the naming of an angel was more than just a labeling.

"And you got my sight," I said to the third gray angel. "I give you the name Sparrow. Do you accept?"

"Yes, Val! Thanks!"

Fascinated, I watched as Sparrow, too, came to life as a teenage girl. Did I give them personalities with the names, too? I wondered as Sparrow chirped with her siblings.

For a moment nothing more happened, but then the walls of the room vanished, and the primordials flew every which way. In a blink, they vanished, too. I found something solid under my feet even though I couldn't see it. Jokela and Ranin were already walking away. Rinne told me and the new angels to follow them. As we started to walk down the invisible path, an open door appeared a few steps ahead from us.

 

*****
 

We walked into the same, cozy room in which I had found myself before the birth of the angels. This time the room was bigger, to fit more couches. We all sat down with warm drinks.

"I'm very proud of you, Valentine Amos," Jokela said in serious tones. "Hare, Deer and Sparrow will be fine angels." He smiled at the gray girls that had squeezed together in the littlest of the couches.

"You really did very well, Valentine." Ranin smiled the happiest smile that I had seen on his face. "The qualities you gifted them with will be of great value."

"I'm also very pleased, Val," Rinne said. "As my siblings indicate, such qualities are a rare gift. In addition, you understood that it was important to ask for their acceptance to the names. Thus, they really are one with their names."

"Like the three of us," Ranin grumbled. "Our names are more than labels, too, even though they don't have clear meanings like theirs." He didn't seem pleased with his name.

"Ranin doesn't like the fact that he's not in charge; Rinne is," Jokela said with glee. "Our names refer to three fictional characters of which the two played by Ranin and Jokela are comic reliefs."

"You were named by some actors?"

"Yes," Jokela said with a grin, but went on with a more serious manner, "but, there's one more thing we have to ask you to do. Did Rinne tell you that if you succeeded in the challenge you would be asked to make a choice?" I nodded, yes, and told Jokela to go on. "As you know, Ranin and I have taken sides in the heavenly war. That means actually that a side has been chosen for the two of us. We ask you to choose a side for Rinne."

I stared at Jokela, flabbergasted. I couldn't believe my ears.

"Val, let me explain," Rinne chimed in. "The journey of an angel begins as a primordial. As you know, the Challenge of the Threes, the Champion, is needed to reach the next level: the gray. My siblings have moved on, to yet another level. For them a shade has been chosen; I'm still shadeless. Choose a shade for me, Val, please!"

"But why? Why do you want to go to war?"

"The heavenly war isn't like the wars you humans wage against each other. Our war isn't about conquering lands and people. We don't fight to get spoils. We don't even fight to win. Our purpose is to keep balance between the forces. Every angel is needed. I need you to choose for me!"

"Of course, Rinne," I assured her. "Let me think this through."

A memory was tickling at the borders of my thoughts, begging for attention. Focusing on the nagging feeling, I realized that during our first meeting, Rinne told me something important. I was sure that she planted a clue in that conversation, but where? She told me so many things that it was difficult to find the important detail, but at last, I did. I stood up, and all the angels followed suit.

"Rinne," I said decisively, "when we first met, I asked about your grayness. I wanted to know whether you were undecided or neutral. You didn't tell me which you were, but you did tell me something. You appreciated the fact that I did care whether you're undecided or neutral.

“I have chosen a side for you, Rinne. The gray. The neutral. The balance. Do you accept?"

"Yes!" Rinne whooped. "Oh, yes. Thank you; Val. My Champion." She hugged me close, her eyes looking as close to tears as rings of fire could, and repeated in a whisper. "Thank you."

"You still look the same," I whispered back. "No change?"

"Just inside. I have an access to a new level of power now, and there are some new powers opening in me, too, but since I already have the appropriate coloring and gender, the change doesn't show outside." Suddenly Rinne burst out laughing. "Look at them!"

Ranin and Jokela were staring at me, their chins on the floor, but as soon as they noticed me staring back, they brought the body parts back in their proper places.

"Valentine," Ranin muttered, "choosing you for the challenge, we really made the right decision. Rarely, the champion understands that besides black and white there is another shade to choose. Of course, you made it worse for me, too."

"What?"

"As I told you," Jokela chimed in, "Ranin isn't too happy with someone else being in charge. Since he ascended to black, he has been more powerful than Rinne, but you changed that, too. Of the three shades, the gray is the most powerful. Gray has all the powers of the black and all the powers of the white."

"Sorry," I said to Ranin, but all of us knew that I wasn't sorry: quite the contrary in fact.

Laughing, Ranin and Jokela embraced Rinne, and then Hare, Deer and Sparrow approached the new second level gray angel. In soft voices, they also congratulated her.

"Val, dear," Rinne said in hushed tones, "with your gift of gray shade, our triplet is now in perfect balance. Since the black was chosen for Ranin, we haven't felt that. We've missed the feeling, very much. So many triplets never get the balance back. It is a very sad state for a triplet: a chafing feeling that never gets better. Thank you for sparing us from it."

"Let's sit down again," Jokela suggested. "There is one more thing. Would you tell him, sister?"

"Gladly," Rinne answered and smiling turned to me. "Val, you've done a great service to us. We want to reward your efforts. If you wish, we will change three things about you or your life. There is just one thing we won't change: the things you gave up in the challenge you can't get back."

"Notice too," Ranin took up the instructions, "that we'll change just you or such things that do not affect the lives of other people. You can't get a more tolerable mother for your son, for example."

My thoughts were in a shambles. Three things? What should I ask for? "Do I have to choose now?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Jokela said in sad tones.

"I won't see you again, will I?"

"Not for a very long time, we hope."

I took my time. Actually, it didn't take that long. I just wanted to be sure of my choices and to stretch out my last moment with the angels.

But finally, I told them my choices.

TBC

Feedback for Ela

or email to elaere@gmail.com

Return to Tripping Challenge