Statistics Don't Lie

“Gee whiz, Brian,” Justin informed the raving maniac he shared the loft with. “You are in a really worse than average mood today – and your mood is always at least a little bit below average – even at its very best….”

“And this has been a very much lower than average day, Taylor – all day too.  And that’s because 90% of the people I run into in the course of any given day are way below average, Sweetheart,” Brian told him.  “Not you though.  You’re in the 10% who are above average - so don’t start any arguments about me saying you’re dumb or anything ….”

“I think it’s too late to start any arguments, BK,” Justin laughed. “Anyhow you start at least 85% of the arguments around here – and that’s a conservative estimate too.  But you gotta remember, Brian – half the people you know are below average …..”

“So just who came up with that figure, JT?” Brian replied.  “Sounds to me like you just made that up ….”

“I did not either make that up, Kinney,” Justin came back at him.  “That’s just obvious.  If you weren’t so mad about whatever you’re mad about you’d know that….”

“Well – like about 100% of the folks who work at Burger Delight can’t make change.  Can’t make burgers either,” Brian enumerated, “And 93% of the guys in the post office can’t figure out what you're telling them when you want to mail something – and the guy at the gas station ….”

“Hey, Brian,” Justin interrupted.  “It’s a well-known fact that that 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot – but you’re gonna raise that figure with your ranting. I bet it’ll soon be more like maybe – 60% …..”

“Well you know what, Mr. Know-It-All,” Brian resumed his complaint.  “I think you just made that particular statistic up.  So whattaya think about that?”

“And what if I did, Kinney?” Justin retorted.  “It’s my turn.  You’re already way above your 42.7 quota ….”

“Hey, Baby,” Brian finally smiled as he encircled the surprised kid with his arm.  “42.7 may be OK for you – like - ordinary people.  But I’m in advertising and I use statistics all the time – like all the time - and I can tell you this from a whole lot of experience that a whole lot more than 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.  And I’m 100% sure of that too.  So let’s go out and eat.”

And so they did – but Justin was very careful to pick a restaurant where 100% of the waiters were above average – way above average.
 

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