Brian and Justin were having lunch at the diner - engaging in purely mundane conversation - when Justin decided to do some philosophical speculation.
“Hey Brian,” he asked the big guy sitting across from him. “What do you think of when somebody uses the expression ‘one in a million’?”
“A trick question if I ever heard one,” Brian grinned at him. “But I’m ready for you this time. When I think of ‘one in a million’ I think of you. You’re ‘one in a million.’ How’s that for an answer?”
“I don’t know if it’s a good answer or not,” Justin laughed. “But it’s a big lie, BK. When you hear “one in a million’ you think of Mikey – because he always uses that expression ….”
“That he does, Baby,” Brian agreed. “But I still get
the feeling you’re trying to trap me somehow – and I’m not sure what I should
say to ruin your plan ….”
“Gee whiz, Kinney,” Justin complained. “I was just trying to get your opinion
of something and you start accusing me of stuff I would never do ….”
“Sorry, JT,” Brian apologized with mock sincerity, “but just what opinion were you trying to solicit from me. I didn’t hear you asking for any opinion.”
“You never gave me time, Kinney,” Justin pointed out. “That’s why. You know Grayson from over at the Institute?”
“You know I know Grayson from over at the Institute, Sweetheart,” Brian replied. “And I think you already know my opinion of Grayson too. He is an air-head ass who’s always trying to act like a philosopher ...”
“Well he does do a lot of really deep thinking, Brian,”
Justin insisted. “And sometimes he brings up some pretty good points too …..”
“Like when?” Brian was still smiling.
“Like today for instance,” Justin told him. “Somebody used the expression ‘one in a million’ during coffee break – and Grayson pointed out that that expression was pretty old.”
“Now that took heavy thinking, Kiddo,” Brian said,
“really heavy thinking …..”
“I wish you’d let me finish, Brian,” Justin complained. “Grayson pointed out
that when that expression came out – a long time ago - a million was a really
big number. Like maybe there were 150 million people in the United States in
1940 and now there are like 350 million – and if somebody had a million dollars
back then they were really rich – and now they have to be a billionaire ….”
“Yeah, Babe,” Brian laughed. “It would take Grayson – and only Grayson I bet - to figure that problem out – or even decide it was a problem.”
“Well he’s right though, Mr. Kinney,” Justin maintained. “It isn’t so much to be ‘one in a million’ any more so maybe the expression should be changed to like – ‘one in a billion?’ What do you think?”
“I think Grayson is like maybe ‘one in ten’ or maybe that’s too good for him,” Brian estimated. “Maybe ‘one in three’ would be better.”
“Well you sure don’t like to talk about serious subjects, Brian,” Justin told him. “I guess I shouldn’t have even tried to get your opinion.”
“Why don’t you just order your dessert, Taylor,” Brian gibed. “And I’m sure that will cheer you up – and take your mind off your anti-intellectual company.”
“But you said I was ‘one in a million’, Brian,” Justin mused. “And ….”
“Well let me revise that, Baby,” Brian rethought. “You’re like – ‘one in three billion and thirty-seven.’ Is that good enough for you?”
“Sounds OK I guess,” Justin pondered. “But I think I’ll
ask Grayson what he thinks.”
“Order your damn dessert, Taylor,” Brian advised - even more strongly.
And that’s what Justin did, deciding that Brian was not up to discussing heavy topics during a light lunch.
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