My Melanie Hat 

Just before the holidays, as the temperature outside took a long dip into below freezing, I wore whatever I could to keep my head and ears warm. Unfortunately I am not a hat person. I don’t think I ever was. Hats do not flatter my face. During the winter months I rely on a combination of hoodies and long scarves that I wind about my head and neck. When I drove to work, this combination was all I needed. Now that I take public transportation and have joined the ranks of the masses out at the bus stop then traipsing through the city to my office, I now have the need for a real hat.

Many years ago I purchased a fake furry hat and scarf combo thing that I’d wear when shoveling snow. One day I found it, threw it on my head and went off to work. Needless to say it’s not the most flattering choice of head gear but it kept my ears from freezing, dropping off and shattering to the pavement. It was functional...it also became the butt of jokes for many a morning.

My co-worker, fellow manager and someone who I greatly admire and respect, a fount of information regarding the consumers we service burst into hysterical laughter the moment she saw my ugly hat. Personally I didn’t think it was all that bad and in reality neither did she...if I was an 88 year old woman. Since I’m only in my early 50's, it was hardly a compliment. So for Christmas, this wonderful woman presented me with a brand new hat.

A Melanie hat!

Now I must take a moment to clarify my feelings. In the QAF fandom, I am not a Melanie person. However, the actress Michelle Clunie did an excellent job in bringing to life the bitch we love to hate, Melanie Marcus, nemesis to Brian Kinney. Every time I think of Melanie, I think of that stupid hat she wore. Who can forget that scene with Ted and Mel as they were walking down Liberty Avenue in the dead of winter only to meet up with Emmett in his ‘see the light’ phase. “Homo.” “Lesbo.” Melanie in her hat. I love that scene. But I digress.

So this is me, unwrapping my present and all I kept thinking was I now have a Melanie hat of my very own. It’s actually a very nice hat in muted shades of blue, grey, black and winter white. My coats are usually black and I have plenty of blue, grey and black scarves to go with the hat. It keeps me toasty warm especially under my hoodie. And it has sufficient room for my bun when I wear my hair up.

I ooo’d and aaah’d, stuck it on my head to model it, and of course, my co-worker and my assistant both broke out into hysterical laughter. I can’t catch a break. And yet I still wear the damn thing because it was a present and a practical one at that.

Tonight I was out late in the city, doing my job, orienting a new nurse to the joys of home care. I walked across town in my Melanie hat to meet her at the appointed time. Two and half very successful hours later, we were done, departing to go our separate ways.

Not being in a rush now, I strolled back over toward the Village, passing Washington Square Park and NYU. Having the time to actually look at my surroundings and the people on the street, the first thing that becomes obvious is the number of Melanie hats that can be seen.

Street vendors with every color of Melanie hat available. Men, women and children of all ages wearing Melanie hats. Some with tassels, like mine, others with pom-poms. A bevy of Melanie hats proudly being worn, keeping heads and ears including mine, warm. Acres and acres of Melanie hats for as far as the eye can see.

Then it finally dawned on me, I wasn’t wearing a ‘Melanie Hat.’ I was wearing MY hat.

Sabina and her hat! Long may we traipse through the city, toasty warm.

The end.

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